Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Puzzle Glue

School started again and my teenage son made a statement that created another puzzle piece for my life as a mom. “I’m okay, Mom”, he said.”You don’t have to walk me to the bus stop anymore.” Yes, I knew this day was coming. No, I wasn’t as prepared as I anticipated.

Like a thousand-piece puzzle in which I have become fragments of a whole, I continue to mold myself together one small section at a time. To move forward in the stages of letting go is never an easy thing, but I have observed those before me who survived. I can survive it, too. I place another curved edge neatly next to one of the other puzzle pieces for him. As a toddler, he took his first wobbly steps towards freedom. Another piece: the sleepover birthday party. And now: the independent walk to the bus stop.

The puzzle pieces are as varied as the roles I play as a mom. I’m a cook, referee, chauffeur, nurse and disciplinarian. Those various roles are like the various sections of the puzzle—the edges, the middle, the colorful part. Letting go—that’s the part of the puzzle I find most challenging. The puzzle pieces are all the same color and the only clue left is the shape. But all the shapes look the same, and one little step at a time, I test each piece to see if it fits.

The lines of separation are faded by the puzzle glue that is the unconditional love I am blessed to experience as a mom. If I stay in one piece, it’s only because of this love, the puzzle glue holding it all together.

Tip of the week:
Need a boost of fresh motivation for your eating challenges? Get out! When I get out of the house, get out to a support group, get out to a bookstore or a movie, or someplace that rejuvenates my true self, the food issues seem to lessen for a little while. Sometimes it’s all I need.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

DIving In!

"I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be..." Stephen Curtis-Chapman challenged my faith with this incredibly powerful song again this week. We are challenged to take that leap of faith, not just over the edge, but into the water that's over our head. Wow.

When we're underwater, things look different. Things are quiet. Things are tuned out, but present. I want to make my prayer life deeper, too. My quiet time can be quiet-er time. My sense of peace can be even more peaceful. When I pray, I can go over the edge of the surface prayer requests and let God see my heart. It's diving in over my head, and not just to the shallow end up to waist level that makes the difference in my perspective. I don't want to just get wet in that water; I want a new view.

Wanna dive in with me?